COOLER THAN THAT

“Mr. Wizard’s a Dick”

When I was a kid, I wasn’t allowed to wake up on Saturday mornings until 6:30am, because otherwise I’d just get up mad early to get my cartoon game on. That’s why I devised an ingenious plan — after my parents went to bed, I’d set my clock ahead two hours so that my alarm would go off at 6:30 when it was really 4:30. I’d do it specifically to watch Mr. Wizard.

If I’d known then what I know now, I’d never give that jerk the satisfaction.