AN USHER: Hey, you can’t wear that hat right now. The national anthem is playing.
MARIA BELLO: I can wear my hat anywhere.
AN USHER: No, you can’t. Not right now, Mrs. Cool Hat.
MARIA BELLO: Yes, I can.
AN USHER: No.
MARIA BELLO: Yes.
AN USHER: If you don’t take off that hat, I will punch you in the face and tell everyone that you hate America.
MARIA BELLO: Everyone knows I love America, and I’m not taking my hat off, so you’re going to have to punch me in the face.
AN USHER: (punches Mrs. Cool Hat in the cheek, 70 percent strength)
MARIA BELLO: (instantly bruises)