Last night, my wife asked me to tell her a story before we went to sleep. Instead, I told her the plots for the following movies as if I were extemporaneously creating stories:

• The Fast and the Furious mixed with Gone in 60 Seconds
• Dumb and Dumber
• The 40 Year Old Virgin, starring Steve Carrell as Michael Scott
• Real Steel
• Men in Black II
• Wild Wild West
• Ali
• D2: The Mighty Ducks

That didn’t go over so well, so I decided to tell her a real story. The plot is as follows.

“There’s this big-time nerd named Clark who goes to Yale. He wants to create the best donut in the world. It’s a maple glazed donut with custard filling, but it’s in standard donut form rather than eclair or some other nonsense donut.

He’s approached by a set of twin brothers named Brian and Eric Gregory who want Clark to work at their donut shop, where they’re also trying to create the world’s best donut. They don’t really have an idea, but they do mention that the only way you can get the donut is by having a Yale email address.”

That’s when I got punched in the stomach, 75 percent strength